It's almost so stereotypical as to be beyond parody, but I've been hooking up with a girl over the last few weeks who constitutes my first interracial experience (no home base, though). She's black, 18, great body, but she's not relationship material for a host of reasons that I won't bore you with (and are pretty predictable anyway). I haven't been as straightforward about my lack of interest in anything commital as I think I should have been, but I've been frustrated over not being able to attract any interest from a gorgeous, Jesus-loving all-American 22 year-old former college cheerleader who lives in the house next to the one I spent my adolescence in (I babysat her a decade ago, but only recently got to know her after she returned to her parents' house upon graduation). Like a pretentious brat, I've justified screwing someone over since the world's screwing me over.
The last exchange I had with the black girl, before seeing her one more time and then cutting off follows. We've always done the typical 'black friends' back and forth, so it's not really as crass as it appears to be.
Chanara: Are we not talking anymore?
AE: What's this royal 'we'?
Chanara: What the fuck is your problem?
AE: 99 problems but I guess this bitch ain't one of them.
Chanara: You guess? Your [*shudder*] ass was pose to have me over a long time ago. We should just get a hotel room and call it a day
AE: I don't do prostitution. Don't mix me up with your customers.
Chanara: Dont make fun of me. You never told me when to come over
AE: YOU'RE wrong, I said you could get in line but YOU'RE too prude.
Chanara: What are you talkin about? You mad cause we havent fucked?
AE: I don't get mad, I just get on. Rolling stone gathers no moss.
Chanara: Ok your disappointed we didnt fuck. your the one thats always working
AE: YOU'RE. God, it's "you're", not "your".
Chanara: Your not going to tell me how to talk
AE: Fine, talking is not what I want to do with you ;)
Chanara: lol let get together soon
AE: Never mind, we'll let that one slide.
Chanara: What are you talkin about?
AE: Abuse of the English language.
Chanara: Ill show you abuse
AE: On the way :)
[A couple days later, after not responding to multiple texts]
Chanara: You better not be tryin to talk to another bitch because it wont be good
AE: Look, I told you not to wait for me. I think you've got the wrong idea. I really need to sleep now, it's late
Chanara: omg Fuck you. i cant believe this shit
[She's sent a few other texts since, but I've decided not to respond, at least for awhile. I genuinely feel bad about leading her on.]
I'm kind of a mess right now, if the post doesn't make that obvious enough. My first serious high school girlfriend, who got married three years ago, just had a baby. I'm not getting any younger. I'm doing the open book thing here for my own benefit, hoping maybe to tap into the wisdom of readers who've been around a bit longer, whatever their reactions might be. Stop aiming for the stars, secure and invest in something on a mountaintop, stop jacking around, and realize you're a few years from thirty and need to stop jacking around, perhaps?