Saturday, August 04, 2007

Beatific vision


Oh, my Beatrice. If ever an image inspiring the most perfect chivalrous values, a pining for that fantastical time when you'd never want anything more than to cloak her in your faithful execution of them, until the end of time...

6 comments:

agnostic said...

who dat?

Audacious Epigone said...

She's a cosplay (costumes inspired by video games or animated series) designer, maker, and modeler, apparently. I was searching for Rosa images and stumbled upon this one. I'm captivated.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet she's a furry as well (you too AE, you sick freak?!). Nice rack though.

Audacious Epigone said...

Anon,

Just because I have an attachment to spiders doesn't mean I like to dress up as one.

It's bittersweetly doleful, like when you see a cat on your front porch that looks like the one you buried last year, or late one restless night when you stumble upon a yearbook from elementary school.

I'm not drawn to what you are. It inspires nothing lustful; quite the opposite, as though I could maintain celibacy to the grave for her. That image, that is.

It's idealistic, of course, partly from who she is playing, a character named Rosa, who is characterized by an immaculate, steadfast and faithful devotion--not the suffocating dependence so many of us went through in HS with some insecure girl a year or two our junior--but one who seeks only the other's happiness, like Theresa in Beethoven's Last Night. She brings into stark focus just how impossible this reality is today, with the monumental incentives for those possessing female beauty to go the way of the contemporary celeb-u-slut. What I want so strongly to uphold the culture wants me to plunder. The girls you get to put out are never the ones who are beautiful in the sense of the word that this image radiates.

I don't want to investigate the person behind the image, which inevitably would fail to live up to the awe inspired by it. Why not enjoy the anomalous thing, fanciful though it may be, without the tired carnality that is so ubiquitous that it has long, long since ceased to be either provocative or exciting? Been there, done that, more than enough. Too much.

agnostic said...

You run the risk, in talking like that, of being unsatisfied with all real women -- even the nice ones, since no one's perfect.

Sonnet 130

If you are going to idealize images like that for a year or two (or however long), you'd better get *something* out of it: write, compose music, paint, anything. But don't just dream.

Seriously, though, your first step is finding someone who wasn't raised under the influence of celeb-u-slut culture. You're in college right? There's got to be some Hungarian, French, or Finnish students -- find out where they are.

Though somewhat unfairly, they'll have very low expectations of your level of culture, so the fact that you have a favorite composer, etc., will impress them even more. Just keep the video game stuff under wraps!

Audacious Epigone said...

I pointed out the image because it captivated me. But it's not a frustrated relational thing, really. I've been similarly captured by photos, and, being as self-indulgent as I am, usually post them.

So you don't need to pity me, as I can tell you are gently doing. I need less contact, less distraction. I don't plan on having children for a decade, so why squander any more energy and heartache? I'm a softy, anyway. Maybe I'll pick up where I left off with my French during the interim!