Thursday, August 09, 2007

Al-Maliki, Ahmadenijad merely exchanging long protein strands

Uh, probably not the best way to assuage Saudi concerns or get the Sunni cabinet members who recently quit al-Maliki's government to come back.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maliki DEFINITELY wears the pants in that relationship!!!!!!!

Audacious Epigone said...

Although that would be preferable, I think that's just how they try to make it look in public.

Steve Sailer said...

Here's where the long protein strings reference is from:

The 1996 Simpsons episode "Treehouse of Horror VII" in which flying saucer aliens Kang and Kodos abduct Presidential candidates Clinton and Dole and impersonate them:

Kent Brockman: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?

Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!

Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from Senator Bob Dole.

Kent: Kent Brockman here, with Campaign '96: America Flips A Coin. At an appearance this morning, Bill Clinton made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie.

Kodos: I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication.

Marge: Hmm, that's Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk.

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, 73-year-old candidate, Bob Dole.

Kang: Abortions for all. [crowd boos] Very well, no abortions for anyone. [crowd boos] Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. [crowd cheers and waves miniature flags]

Later, Kang and Kodos are walking down the streets, holding hands.

Kang: Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected.

Kodos: Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.

A Democratic National Committee van pulls up, and George Stephanopoulos pokes his head out.

George: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit... confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands.

Kang: We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

Springfield holds a Dole-Clinton debate. Clinton is giving the opening speech:

Clin-Ton: My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

Kang: The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again. Tomorrow, when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for me, Senator Ka... Bob Dole. [applause]

Kodos: I am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent blood bath. [applause]

Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them] [audience gasps in terror]

Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [Murmurs from the crowd]

Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.

Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.

Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] [Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat]

The next day, Kodos announces the result: "All hail, President Kang." The field in front of the Capitol has now become a working ground where humans are whipped by aliens and used to carry materials to build a giant ray gun. The Simpsons, with chains around their necks, are working too, with Homer and the kids carrying wood, and Marge pushing a wheelbarrow of cinderblocks -- with Maggie on top.

Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of.

Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

dave in boca said...

The Saudis detest Maliki and they are good judges of character, or lack of it, in this case. I think Saddam decimated any real Shi'ite leadership over his 25 years of tyranny and murder.....the sad remnants of the survivors simply can't avoid their built-in survival techniques that kept them alive---survival of the craven risk-avoiders means Maliki & other weaklings versus the armed nasty-boys of Sadr.

No wonder the Sunnis are starting to back the Americans!

Audacious Epigone said...

Steve,

The Simpsons' allusion works on several levels in this case. I was hoping someone would pick up on it.

Dave,

Even throughout the Whitehouse Maliki hasn't been held in very high esteem for the last several months. He can't keep Sunnis from leaving or Parliament in session. What can he do? Well, I think the visual is indicative enough.